With headaches and heartaches we tend to clench tightly the things we want most. You really can destroy something by holding on too tightly. When we elevate someone or something to a level so high we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. Love. Attachment. Addiction. Passion. Whatever you want to call it, leads to disappointment when it's gone before you're ready. And that's okay. No one should go through life without, but when you're placing these things above your God, it's time to re-evaluate. If you're not a spiritual or religious person, you're likely disagreeing with me right about now. Again, that's okay. You have your own path to live. Whatever you want to call It, Him or Her...it doesn't really matter, only that your higher power is in charge. I know that I tried doing it on my own and that didn't work out so well for me. I placed people and things above my own interest and above God. Painfully, I had to re-prioritize. I am not here to preach, bible thump, or damn you. I'm only telling my story and the fact is it's much easier when I know I'm not in charge. Phew! What a relief.
If only we could all learn the lessons around expectation as children, our lives would be so much easier. Ease. Ease is not word I would've valued five years ago. I believed I had to fight, claw, and work to get anything worth having. While hard work is still essential to the feelings of pride and accomplishment, it's important to recognize that a higher power made it all possible. A higher power gave you physical, mental or emotional ability. A higher power put people in your path. A higher power took away things, jobs, relationships to make you value what you have even more now.
I told a friend today, "I'm finally getting closer to being the woman God wants me to be rather than who I thought I should be." Serenity is near. I can taste it. I still don't know what's in store for me, but that's okay. I know what I need to do today, and that is comforting. I'm pretty sure I've got the tools in pocket to deal with the days and years ahead. Don't short change yourself by creating an 'ideal' life for yourself. Keeping yourself open to changes, people, places and things lead to new adventures and inspiration. If you allow it...reality can far exceed your expectations. I'm not naive...reality will serve up some shit storms, but I've been through a few already and survived. They haven't killed me yet. The worst you think can happen, probably won't if you continue turning to the light of your higher power.
I never imagined I would hike up this mountain, but God made it possible. I really wasn't sure I was going to make it through the agonizing two mile hike straight up, but a few tears and hours later I finally made it. I also may have threatened to throw my friend off the cliff if she didn't stop with the annoying encouragement. Ultimately, I'm grateful she was there. I felt truly blessed to share the experience with her and her kids. People I didn't even know a year ago, and now I'm climbing mountains, sharing laughs and tears, and water bottles. Silly? Maybe. I consciously worked at keeping myself open to the opportunity and it far exceeded my expectations.
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